Sunday, June 28, 2009


"I compare myself to a big-league slugger, a quarterback, the doctor who delivers the baby," he said. "I'm not an inventor, but I'll take your product to the next level."

Death now comes in bizarre four-packs, it seems.

In the spirit of the late Billy Mays (for the unfamiliar, OxyClean, Mighty Putty and, I’ve decided to come up with a handful of some of the best promoters in sports.

Ah, but you know how Scribe does? There’s always some sort of twist.

This is about shameless self-promoting, proper vocal projection and the all-important disregard for the opponent. A few are quick and quite funny while the final is a long collection of the man who once said “I can sell out Madison Square Garden (doing something alone)”. You can certainly add to this list as sports, unlike any other entertainment vehicle, provide some of the greatest self-appreciating and opponent-demoralizing fodder you will ever hear.

Shannon Sharpe may have been known more for his mouth and the late eighties part in his hair, but neither would have remained in our conscious if he wasn’t a future Hall of Famer. With that said, Sharpe deserves more credit for reminding NFL fans that the New England Patriots were still an operating franchise in 1993 (New England, it’s okay if you conveniently forgot that there was a team before 2001).

Somewhat sticking with the northeastern region of the States, current Boston Celtic Kevin Garnett was criticized by some in the media for this, but personally, I thought it was funny as all hell. As a YouTube commenter said about the video “sounds like he's been playing too much call of duty.”

Notice the flow from loading up clips to being a soldier. Kellen Winslow (Juinor) will never live this down, especially if he has a bad game as the new tight end for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The former University of Miami star should get props for not only trying to keep it clean for the kiddies, but for the most overlooked (and hysterical) part of the rant, which occurs in the :17 - :20 interval.

His schtick may be tiring to some, but the birth of “Ocho Cinco” by the now Chad Ochocinco was something to behold in this post-game interview. You can thank DeAngelo Hall for getting him started.

And for those of you from Atlanta, how is Willie Anderson’s Fatburger spot?

Watching this live was hysterical (WARNING: choppy audio). Think of this as Floyd Mayweather Jr. promoting his own skill through multitasking.

Finally... need I say more?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Billy Mays' death is actually part of a second "three-pack", although you wouldn't necessarily know the other two names unless you're a fan of 1950s or '70s TV - Gale Storm (My Little Margie) and Fred Travalena (occasional panelist on Match Game).