Promoters

"I compare myself to a big-league slugger, a quarterback, the doctor who delivers the baby," he said. "I'm not an inventor, but I'll take your product to the next level."

Death now comes in bizarre four-packs, it seems.

In the spirit of the late Billy Mays (for the unfamiliar, OxyClean, Mighty Putty and ESPN360.com), I’ve decided to come up with a handful of some of the best promoters in sports.

Ah, but you know how Scribe does? There’s always some sort of twist.

This is about shameless self-promoting, proper vocal projection and the all-important disregard for the opponent. A few are quick and quite funny while the final is a long collection of the man who once said “I can sell out Madison Square Garden (doing something alone)”. You can certainly add to this list as sports, unlike any other entertainment vehicle, provide some of the greatest self-appreciating and opponent-demoralizing fodder you will ever hear.

Shannon Sharpe may have been known more for his mouth and the late eighties part in his hair, but neither would have remained in our conscious if he wasn’t a future Hall of Famer. With that said, Sharpe deserves more credit for reminding NFL fans that the New England Patriots were still an operating franchise in 1993 (New England, it’s okay if you conveniently forgot that there was a team before 2001).



Somewhat sticking with the northeastern region of the States, current Boston Celtic Kevin Garnett was criticized by some in the media for this, but personally, I thought it was funny as all hell. As a YouTube commenter said about the video “sounds like he's been playing too much call of duty.”



Notice the flow from loading up clips to being a soldier. Kellen Winslow (Juinor) will never live this down, especially if he has a bad game as the new tight end for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The former University of Miami star should get props for not only trying to keep it clean for the kiddies, but for the most overlooked (and hysterical) part of the rant, which occurs in the :17 - :20 interval.



His schtick may be tiring to some, but the birth of “Ocho Cinco” by the now Chad Ochocinco was something to behold in this post-game interview. You can thank DeAngelo Hall for getting him started.

And for those of you from Atlanta, how is Willie Anderson’s Fatburger spot?



Watching this live was hysterical (WARNING: choppy audio). Think of this as Floyd Mayweather Jr. promoting his own skill through multitasking.



Finally... need I say more?

Dimes

Honestly, the return of the NBA has taken over the mind, body and soul... along with complete exhaustion.

In lieu of a preview or an elaborate post this evening, here are a few quick passes until a heavy day on Scribe tomorrow:

• From New York Magazine, Chris Smith delves into how Bronx native, Donnie Walsh, is hoping to resurrect his hometown franchise. This shall be interesting considering a) that this magazine rarely ventures into sports unless there's something 'sexy' and b) no one really knows where this path will lead, no matter how well Walsh is regarded.
  
  
• Sticking with the Five Boroughs somewhat is an article from this weekend's New York Times Magazine. Bruce Schoenfeld chronicles the long and bizarre (mostly bizarre) road to have professional basketball... in Oklahoma City.
  
  
• From Advertising Age, Rich Thomaselli adds another comparison of one number 23 to another; this time, in relation to Madison Avenue. Hey, it's the fulltime job talking over here.
  
  
• From The Biz of Basketball, Maury Brown highlights the special shoe that Kevin Garnett took to the floor during tonight's opener. You should now want your face to adorn a shoe.
  
  
• Finally, this breaks from Adrian Wojnarowski at Yahoo! Sports. Anyone who has mentioned the New Jersey Nets in person to me has heard me rant somewhat about their tenable situation in trying to move to Brooklyn. This may further prove the point that I've been making... no one's coming to Brooklyn. More on this later.

Jumpball

Even if the World Series resumes tonight (if Mom Nature allows), you're going to need something else to bounce off of this evening. So, on behalf of all fans who have been waiting patiently through the last 133 days for this night...

Let's... GO!

17

Funny things about the Celtics winning their 17th title in franchise history:

So NOW Paul Pierce is a Celtic legend?!?! The guy carried the franchise for a decade, yet it seems that now he's appreciated not just throughout the country, but in New England.

Danny Ainge winnng Executive of the Year is a bit odd. Luck and a long-lasting friendship with Kevin McHale shouldn't be reasons to be given the award.

Thrilled for Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. Absolutely thrilled. P.J. Brown... not so much. Some fires won't ever be put out ;).

I kid. Congrats.

It may seem crazy, but Rajon Rondo has a game similar to Tony Parker, except that the jumpshot isn't there just yet.

As for the Lake Show: as one of the Boston-area commentors mentioned on a ESPN Conversation board, this is nice right now, but the Lakers will have their day. Don't doubt that for a second.

The best team in the league all season long was outplayed in every game by a team that never strayed from their game plan. Will they figure that out in November remains to be seen.

Kobe is going to single-handedly destroy the PLANET in Beijing.

Finally, no matter what, ESPN/ABC must do everything possible to keep their lead broadcast team of Mike Breen, Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy together.